The chaos of essays is in full swing at the moment, but the good news is that I'm still getting the right kind of progress made and my lecturers are being super helpful tutorial wise. At one point I had to re-write half of the current 1000 words of my 2000 word narratives essay on Never Let Me Go which, although traumatic at the time, has been perhaps the the most useful part of this whole learning experience. Largely because being able to acknowledge the flaws that exist straightaway means that I progress at a quicker and steadier pace.
When weeks are full, it is important to remember that often time is too empty to prove interesting. When life is busy, there is always somehow more time than there was before to stop and appreciate how far you've come and how much you have achieved. In the past day for instance I have received two positive pieces of feedback, admitted to myself that it's alright to struggle with my work sometimes as long as I keep working hard and asking for help, successfully sight read in a rehearsal, been given a solo in the Christmas carol service next week and started work as a student ambassador for York St. John. And all of that before tea time! Ian Mckellen (The best actor of all time) would certainly be proud of this partial and quickly evaporating element of the polymath which apparently resides somewhere at the back of my head. Kind of like a Megalodon, I never quite know when or where it will surface from.
It's also important to give yourself regular breaks when you have deadlines, stress and no Labrador to keep you company. A useful way to make yourself feel a bit better and to laugh for a while is to meet with your friends and indulge in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them again. That's right! It took just over a week for me to go and see it again and it was even better the second time. Seeing it with my friends Rebecca and Izzie was quite strange because they hadn't seen it before - I found myself waiting to see their reactions at my favourite parts of the movie (no spoilers, I promise!) In approximately five seconds I am going to unleash the Harry Potter opinions - The new aspects of the world I am actually enjoying even more than the originals. Largely because I am a stickler for detail in every form of art or fact, and the world Rowling has put together here adds so much more detail to that overall idea of witchcraft being a global matter opposed to just something which exists in the English countryside. It makes it more magical that there are further believable aspects. Plus, all the American features were awesome! And it spoke to my inner zoologist/marine biologist. Who knows - maybe one day I'll end up studying one of those fields too and I can say it's all because of J. K. Rowling.
My Christmas shopping is mostly done now, other than a few last bits and pieces, but in about a weeks time everything will be done and dusted. Even the trees around campus now are starting to look a little more festive. Though that doesn't entirely take away the stress of deadlines being next week...
To calm myself, but also to inspire my ideas opposed to forcing them out of my notes, I've been doing the whole stereotypical writer thing of going to art galleries, reading bad French poetry and decorating my notebooks with lady bug wrapping paper. It might sound silly - but trust me, the best ideas you will ever have will come after further research into the life of L.S.Lowry and his life, with a few Dutch still lives thrown in there for good measure.
Overall, this week has been a mixture of the weird, the wacky, the logical and the wonderful (all the alliteration too, as you can see!) It makes me realise how lucky I am and how much brighter the future is starting to look. It's very easy to let stress mask you sometimes and, honestly, those are the moments when you have to work harder. From my own experience, I've found stress is basically my brain untying it's shoe laces. Sometimes it means stopping to tie them - perhaps going back through an essay and re-typing things. Sometimes it means the shoe lace needs re-threading - and you might need to ask for a bit of extra help or support to push through things. But all in all, and despite the bad shoe metaphors previously stated for which I apologise on my own behalf, life is spectacular. It is sublime. This world of study and of life moulded by so many individuals is one where even statistical fact is occasionally left wordless. So when I do take the time to step back and see this, everything seems that little easier. And it's clear that things will be ok.